Thursday, March 29th - First Day Home

(above - big brother Connor greets sister Lauren with Dad)
(below - GranD rocks Lauren to sleep by singing her sweet lullabies)
(below - legs dangling, Connor falls asleep in his old swing)

Well, we made it through our first night together as a family of four! With help from my mom and our nanny Katie, Connor received plenty of doting attention in the midst of a flurry of homecoming. Lauren settled into her bedroom very well - a little girl in a big crib! Connor continues to be very interested in the squeeks and cries of his little sister without any signs of jealousy.....yet. If anything, he is thrilled to have all of his old baby toys around again. This morning he demanded a ride in his old swing, and as it sang his old favorite songs he fell asleep for over an hour. The poor thing probably strained against his weight and length, but didn't seem worse for the wear.

Baby Lauren continues to eat and sleep very well. She's like clockwork, waking up for a feeding every four hours. Thanks to all of her NICU nurses for getting her on such a dependable schedule. :) Lauren took her first trip to the pediatrician for a 'meet and greet' this afternoon. We've been warned that the first week having a preemie at home can be a bit of a 'honeymoon period', after which Lauren may ramp up her food intake and frequency, making her lovely dependable schedule disappear along with our restful nights. Well, we'll figure it out day by day. The pediatrician was very impressed with Lauren's growth, saying 'It's great to see a chubby preemie!' Lauren continues to add fat rolls by the day!!

Lauren is Coming Home TODAY!

After 86 long days in the NICU, a PDA ligation surgery, battles with an infection, and too many needle sticks, tests and monitor alarms, our feisty 26-week'er is coming home!!!

Since her birth on 12/31/06, Lauren has more than tripled her weight. Although she was born a tiny 2lbs 1oz 'extreme preemie', she's now just under 7lbs! She is sucking down bottles and breastfeeding like a pro, gaining weight steadily, exhibiting no A's or B's (apneas or brady's), and breathing very well on her own. She went over 1.5 hours on a 'room air trial' last week, meaning she didn't have any assisted oxygen. We've been told that if we lived at sea level, she would be off oxygen completely. However, our mile high altitude means that Lauren's lungs have to work a little harder. She'll come home on just 1/32 of a liter of oxygen, which is the lowest setting her little tank allows. Hopefully she will be weaned off oxygen completely within a few short months.

Yesterday was an emotional day as I bid farewell to my collegues at EDAW for awhile to begin my true maternity leave. I plan to take 3-4 months off before returning to work around August. I also gave my teary farewells to all of the amazing nurses and doctors who have been taking such great care of Lauren these past 3 months. They were so excited to receive the NICU bean bags that my EDAW friends had made (thank you Heather, Andrea and Vaike!)

This experience has been the most difficult of my entire life. But thanks to the support of our family and friends, we have made it through with flying colors!!! It will feel SO good to have my precious family of four under the same roof tonight!!

Sunday, March 25th - Kaia's Comments

(above) Lauren - 38-weeks old (AGA), weighing 6lbs 11 oz!! She's been in the hospital for 83 days, but this big girl is almost ready to come home!
(below) Connor and neighbor Raya play on the hippo at the Denver Zoo!

Lauren is on the homeward-bound countdown! Her doctors are telling us she will likely be discharged this coming Wednesday! This is exciting news and we are thrilled and a bit nervous about the upcoming transition.

Grant and I have spent almost the entire last two days with Lauren. Her primary nurse Bobbi has been teaching us all that we need to know about her care: how to use the home oxygen tanks, how to mix her 'milk shakes' (breast milk with a cornstarch-like thickener that seems to help her reflux), how to crush her synthroid pill and give it to her with multivitamins, how to work her home monitors.....there's a lot to learn, but I'm sure it will become second nature soon. We have decided to bring home an oxygen saturation/heart rate monitor for piece of mind and extra precaution. We've been warned that the monitors can go off even if there's no emergency, and that they may just drive us crazy. She may just be moving around enough that the monitor can't get a good reading. But we've also heard that a monitor can help parents sleep better, knowing that if anything scary happens, the monitors will alarm and wake us up. We've decided to try them at first and then work with our pediatrician to help us decide when she no longer needs them.

We continue to enjoy our new neighborhood and neighbors. Now that the weather is warming up, we're been exploring the many parks and outdoor activities nearby. Last weekend we ventured to the zoo to watch the many animals frolicking in the sun! Connor and his neighbors Raya and Julia loved every minute....until it was time to go. Then we experienced a full-on Connor Meltdown. I guess we're nearing the Terrible Two's!!

Thank you all for donating to the Walk America - March of Dimes. Team Lauren has raised over $1300 and we're still going strong! Here are some of the programs that your donations will help support:

- 43 Neonatal Intensive Care Unit Family Support projects. This program works with families of critically ill newborns and staff to develop customized services, which could include support for siblings and extended families, helping the family cope with the NICU experience, easing the transition from hospital to home and, if needed, bereavement support. By year's end, with your help, there will be a NICU Family Support project in every state, Washington, D.C. and Puerto Rico. (this Support Project has helped our family immensely! Especially during the tough days when Lauren was sick.)
- More than $43 million allocated for research and medical support in 2006. The March of Dimes, over its history, has funded the work of 13 Nobel Prize winners.
- Educational materials distributed through hospitals, doctors' offices, healthcare centers, schools and online at Pregnancy and Newborn Health Education Center®. Millions of women of childbearing age are advised on how to have a healthy pregnancy and reduce the risk of premature birth.
- Advocating for women and children. The March of Dimes led the effort to pass the PREEMIE Bill, which was signed into law on December 22, 2006. The bill authorizes expanded federal research into the causes of premature birth. The Foundation is also lobbying for expanded access to health insurance for mothers and babies.
- Focusing on the health of children. If you or your child received a polio or rubella vaccine to protect against these diseases, you've been helped by the March of Dimes. (Every child benefits from the March of Dimes. Not just preemies!)

March 22nd, 2:48 pm

We apologize for not updating the blog this past week. We hope those of you that are still checking in to see how Lauren is doing will continue to do so. Our ability to update the blog as often as we once did is more difficult now that we (Kaia) have become more integrated into her feedings.

Okay, here is the update: Lauren continues to gain weight on a very consistent basis, and is now about 6lbs, 10oz. She now nipples all of her feedings, either from the bottle or breast, which is an unbelievably huge step, as it requires her to combine the skills of breathing and feeding at the same time. So, the medical team is thrilled with her feeding skills.

The only problem that continues to plague her is her inability to maintain a constant oxygen saturation. This most likely is the result of immature lungs, but also because of some acid reflux. Because she was fed through a tube for many months, the valve at the top of the stomach doesn't fully shut allowing acid to creep into her esophagus causing irritation. Unfortunately, when the irritation occurs, she forgets to breathe, which causes her oxygen saturation levels to plummet. However, she is on some new formula that is added to her breast milk that thickens it up allowing her to keep it down in the lower portion of the stomach. It seems to be working, as her "de-sats" are way down...

We did an overnight visit with her on Sunday, which didn't go all that well for many reasons, but it was valuable for us to actually get to experience how much potential care she will require once she gets home. It was a bit daunting to say the least. But, we don't have anything to complain about. We consider Lauren a blessing, and know that her health could be much much worse. We are lucky to have these problems we feel...

Kaia's parents and my parents are back from overseas. So, we now have lots of grand parental help! Connor is doing great, and has become a fixture in the park that is across the street. He can play in the sand, dirt, and grass for hours, and throws a tantrum when it is time to go home. He gets so dirty that he has earned the name 'pig pen' at home. He would much rather be outside with no jacket or shoes playing with a stick and some construction debris/trash than be inside with his toys.

Thanks for all of your support.

Grant

Friday, March 16th - Kaia's Comments

Lauren is almost ready to come home! At 37 weeks, she is 6lbs 3oz and she is taking all of her feedings from bottle or breast! It must feel great not to have any tubes down your throat or needles in your arm after 3 months of sticks, pokes and incisions. She does still have a heart rate and oxygen monitor, and she still has a nasal canula to give her extra oxygen. But she is doing very well!!!

This has been the week of training. Not for Lauren, but for us as parents! We've learned how to give her synthroid medicine, how to feed her with a bottle and keep her awake, how to watch for color change in her face that may indicate low oxygenation of her blood, and many more little skills. We feel (almost) prepared for Lauren's homecoming and we're very excited to soon be a whole family under one roof. This weekend will be our big test. Grant and I will be staying overnight at the hospital with Lauren in a family room. (GrandD and Connor get to have a sleep over!) Lauren will be off her monitors and although the nurses will be just outside our door, she will be OUR RESPONSIBILITY!!! It sounds a little scary now, but I'm sure we'll do ok.

A few updates on Lauren: she passed her hearing test, which is great! She is now on a 'on demand' feeding schedule, which means she's waking up every 3-4 hours on her own and crying to let us know she's hungry, just like a regular newborn baby would do. As soon as she goes 5 days without a Brady or Apnea episode, she will be home!!

After all that we've been through, we are very excited to report that Lauren shows very few signs of any developmental or health problems. The biggest issue for Lauren at home will be her immune system, which is very sensitive. We have to do everything we can to ensure she doesn't get sick for the first 2 years of her life. This will obviously be challenging with our social lives and her big brother. It's likely that we'll be extreme home bodies for quite awile. It means no big homecoming party and no visitors in our house who have been recently sick. It means Purrell in every room and diligent handwashing. It means no daycare for either child for the next 2 years. It means anyone who visits must wash hands before touching her. It's not going to be easy, but it's for Lauren's health and of course we must do everything we can to give her the best shot at a healthy life!!

Again, thank you for ALL of your help - your notes, your calls, your cooked meals, your babysitting offers, your gifts, your letters, your prayers, your thoughts, your friendship and love. We feel like we've shared this journey with so many people and that has helped give us the strength to make it through.

Friday, March 16th. Kaia's comments

As we near Lauren's homecoming, we're celebrating by helping others! Over the last few months we have personally witnessed the trials and tribulations of many babies in our hospital's NICU. We have also heard many stories of others with newborn prematurity experiences.

The first thing we have done is particiate in the Walk for America, to celebrate Lauren's health, and help improve the potential of future premature infants. My colleagues at EDAW have been so>inspired by Lauren's fight for life over the last 3 months that they've initiated a fund raising effort for next month's March of Dimes Walk for America. TEAM LAUREN honors our sweet and feisty little girl as well as all of the premature babies born before her, whose successes and challenges guided Lauren's care team to know how to help her become the beautiful and healthy girl she is today.

Please join us in celebrating Lauren's health, and helping to improve the potential of future premature infants. If you are interested in joining me for the Walk of America in Denver on April 28th at 9am, or you would like to contribute to the March of Dimes, (whose mission is to improve the health >of>babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth, and infant mortality),>please check out my home page:>>http://www.walkamerica.org/khistand>>

(above) Friends Andrea, Vaike and Heather all spent an afternoon together with Kaia and Connor, sewing beanbags ('frogs') for a NICU gift.
(above) Heather and Vaike - seamstresses and their beanbags for the NICU
(below) a few of the 9 colorful, soft 'frogs' that were made! These beanbags are used by the NICU as bolsters and supports for preemie babies in isolettes. The frogs help little ones feel more secure and supported. Unfortunately, the NICU is very low on frogs and so we offered to make new ones as a gift for their use.

The next thing we wanted to do was thank the St Joseph's Hospital NICU for their care. They have not only been amazing for Lauren, but they have been great to our whole family. It's clear that NICU nurses and doctors must be skilled at treating not only their patient, but the whole patient family.

When Lauren is discharged, we wanted to give the NICU a thank you gift that they would need and use. So when I asked Lauren's primary nurse what the NICU needed, she showed me a 'frog.' In the NICU, a frog is a soft flannel or fleece beanbag that is used as a bolster for preemies in isolettes. The bolsters may be placed under a baby's legs or behind their back to help them feel secure and supported. Unfortunately, the NICU's budget tends to be taken up by more necessary items like stethescopes and cribs, leaving little left for blankets and frogs. So, I recruited 3 seamstress friends from my office and we spent an afternoon making 9 new frogs for the NICU! We shopped for some super soft fabric, ordered some plastic beads online, and then we turned Vaike's house into a Frog production line for an afternoon! Even Connor was able to help by filling the flannel sacks with plastic beads.

(below) Connor helps fill the sewn flannel and fleece bags with plastic beads (successfully spilling more on the floor than in the bags.)

Another thing I wanted to do was donate pre-term breast milk. I have been very fortunate to have such a wonderful supply, which I feel has truly helped Lauren grow and develop as well as she has these past few months. Many moms are not as fortunate, so I wanted to help out. The Mother's Milk Bank, located just next door to Lauren's hospital, screens, collects, stores and dispenses human milk by prescription only, to babies who have special health requirements for milk and whose own mothers are unable to provide it.

Although the screening process was extremely rigorous, including blood tests and a multi-page questionnaire about my health history, I was finally ok'ed as a donor. Just yesterday I showed up at the milk bank with two grocery bags full of donor milk and they were absolutely thrilled!!! "Your gift will help many babies around the country, Kaia." It felt really great to know that I could help. Thanks for sharing, Lauren!

Saturday, March 10th - Kaia's comments

(above) Lauren 36 weeks, "Pretty in Pink" Can you tell that we're all very ready for spring?
(below) Connor's trauma for the day - waiting for his precious Blankey to go through the laundry

We're just truckin' right along - getting closer and closer to the day that Lauren will be home with us! We've been told she may be home in a week or two!!!! Suddenly that seems so soon! We've very excited!

As you can imagine, the nurses and docs wouldn't even be tempting us with the idea of Lauren's homecoming if she wasn't doing fabulously well. At just 36 weeks, still a month away from her due date, she is 'getting very close,' according to her care team. She's mastering all of the skills she needs to, including nursing, eating regularly from a bottle, breathing and keeping her heart rate at an appropriate level. She has A's and B's infrequently now, and she must go at least 5 days without either before she can be discharged. She's continuing to need less and less oxygen, but we know she will continue to need some help in the breathing area for at least a few more months. She's taking every other feeding from either bottle or nursing. Once she can take them all, she will no longer need a tube down her throat.

We had a 'Care Conference' last week to review her progress and discuss her upcoming discharge, which was great. It was a chance for everyone to get on the same page in terms of her nutrition, respiratory, cardio history and progress. The meeting was lead by her primary NNP (nurse practitioner) the head Neonatologist for the hospital's NICU (who also happened to be the hospital's physician of the year last year!), her primary nurse, Lauren's future pediatrician, as well as a social worker who will be coordinating any ongoing therapies that Lauren may need over the next 3 years. I'm not sure if all NICU's do 'care conferences' like this, but it was very reassuring for us. It was great to review her complete history and to have the health care professionals who are currently taking care of her in the hospital actually sit down with the people who will ensure she continues to develop well after discharge.

By the way, Lauren is just under 6lbs!!! Last night she weighed 5lbs 14oz. We hope that she can continue such fabulous growth when she gets home. She had another eye exam last week, which came back with 'no change' - so she still has level 1 ROP. The doc said it was great that the ROP hasn't progressed and it seems like the blood vessels in her eyes may be growing normally now. She also has another brain scan, which also came back with great results - normal! No problems. The last test she will have is a hearing test, which should take place sometime next week.

At home, we've adapted well to our routine, but we know that it will all change very soon. All of the grandparents are overseas right now, so we hope that they return before Lauren is discharged!! Grant's parents are in France visiting Pat's mother, and Kaia's parents are trekking around Botswana on the last week of their amazing trip. We'll look forward to having them home this week!

Sunday, March 4th - Kaia's Comments

Taking Valentino for a walk in the stroller!

"MOON!"
Lauren's favorite fuzzy blankey....sleeping peacefully.

It's been a mellow weekend at the Nesbitts (finally!) While visiting our neighbor's house on Friday, Connor became enamoured by the little girls' stroller and HAD to have one of his own! This morning he is happily walking his favorite stuffed animal Valentino, the valentine lion, around the house. We also had fun this morning watching videos of last night's lunar eclipse on UTube. Connor's first word was moon and he continues to love pointing out moons whenever he sees them.

Friday, March 2 - kaia's comments

Dining room with my brother Miles' art http://www.yessy.com/mileshistand/,
also friend Amanda Houston's in background (http://amandahouston.com/)
Miles' linocuts

(below) Mugwa's favorite spot - keeping an eye on the progress of 'Birdsong Park' , which will be installed in front of our house this spring. For now, it's just dirt!!!

Here are a few photos of our new house, and a little plug for my talented brother and some artsy friends! We've finally settled enough that we actually have some art on our walls. Of course the first paintings to be hung were those by my brother. Our dining room is all family artwork - one wall is waiting for a beautiful watercolor of poppies that my dad painted for us! Another wall holds a cluster of Miles' work.

Friday, March 2 - kaia's comments

Hi everyone! I'm wearing frogs today!!

See? I even have frogs on my feet!!

Love my mommy time.....
...and my daddy time!!!
Connor - using some keys to 'start up the garbage truck!!'

It's been a big testing week for little Lauren - kind of like midterms! First she had blood tests to see how everything is going. A few weeks ago Lauren was diagnosed 'hypothyroid' so she's now on synthroid. Her blood tests came back normal this week, so the synthroid seems to be doing the trick and there aren't any other red flags. She also had another eye test, checking for ROP (improper blood vessel growth in the eyes.) Sure enough, Lauren does have some ROP, but nothing severe enough to warrant any intervention. The eye doctor will continue to monitor her weekly to make sure there isn't anything worth worrying about. Interestingly enough, many preemies on high levels of oxygen used to go blind (in the 50's) due to extreme ROP leading to detached retinas. We recently found out that Stevie Wonder was one such case. He was a preemie who is blind due to excessive use of oxygen early in his life. Hospitals now regulate a preemie's oxygen much more, but some amount of damage in eye blood vessel growth can still occur.

Yesterday Lauren recieved her immunizations. No one likes shots and it's especially no fun for little ones. When I went in this morning to nurse her, she definitely seemed a little under the weather - not as alert and active as she usually is in the mornings. The nurse gave her some baby tylenol, so hopefully she'll feel better soon. Lastly, she will have a hearing test in the next day or so. Hopefully there won't be any problems there either!

At home everyone continues to be healthy and finally adapting to life in our new house. Connor is sleeping and eating well....if we could just get him to like his baths again!! Maybe we'll upload an image of our most recent attempt, if Grant is ok with it.

Wednesday, February 28th - Kaia's Comments

Three cheers for Lauren!!!! 35 weeks old (AGA) today!!

February 27, 2007 - 3:15 p.m.

Today, Lauren is 5 lbs 4 oz, and rocketing up to 6 pounds. She is learning how to breast feed on a more consistent basis. Needless to say, we've been elated with her progress. Kaia continues to spend most of her mornings with her before heading off to work.

We are frantically trying to get all of the projects at the new house done before she comes home. Many thanks to those of you who have pitched in to help us out with this transition. We are so thankful for our family and friends...

Sunday, February 25th - Kaia's comment

Lauren is 2 months old today! At 34 weeks (adjusted gestational age), she's doing very well and progressing through all of the developmental milestones that she should be. Her weight gain has been particularly strong - she weighed 5 lbs 1oz this morning. She's now in a regular hospital crib, and she's tolerating the increase in noise and light just fine. She took her first full bottle feeding last night and sucked down the milk like a champ. Then this morning she nursed better than ever before, so the nurses were very impressed. She still tires easily, so the majority of her feedings will continue to be gavage (tube down her nose and into her tummy) until she gains more strength.

The area that continues to be a challenge is Lauren's breathing. She continues to do pretty well on her nasal canula, but has had a few episodes of bradies (low or no heart rate) and apneas (slow or no breathing leading to low blood oxygen levels.) We have been assured that this is common for little preemies, but she won't go home until she grows out of this pattern. During our 'care conference' with Lauren's primary nurses, nurse practitioners and doctors we laid out a plan for her to hopefully come home in about a month!

Wednesday, February 21st, 2007

I know how much you all enjoy the pictures of Lauren, but unfortunately I don't have any to post today. But, we have good news to share.

Lauren gained another few ounces last night, and is now tipping the scales at 4 lbs, 11 oz. She is really looking like a newborn, which is very exciting. We believe that she is retaining some fluids, however, and her breathing was more forced today. So, they increased her oxygen level, and will continue to watch for any complications with regard to her fluid level. We hope that she doesn't have to go back on the Cpap machine, but understand that could be a possibility. Today she is 34 weeks gestation, and almost home.

Thanks for your continued support.

Grant

Monday, February 19th - Kaia's Comment

Lauren- 7 weeks old! Off her CPAP, and just on nasal canula for oxygen!Lauren's first tub bath with help from Bobbi (primary nurse), Kaia and Grant (again no flash, sorry for the blur!)

Today Lauren celebrated her 7 week birthday with her first real tub bath! It was very spa-like, including a warm towel wrap and a little baby massage. If she had been able to sip a little peppermint tea, it would have been like a visit to Canyon Ranch!

Our sweet little 'Lolo' (Connor's best attempt at saying his sister's name) is doing so well that the nurses have told us not to delay in getting her room ready. She will likely be home in about a month. It feels like we're in such a routine with these hospital visits that we need to remember things will soon change quite dramatically. We will soon be responsible for her 24 hour care rather than the partial effort that we currently spend each day. Fortunately, we have Lauren's nursery all set up. However, Connor is currently 'leasing' it, since we haven't gotten his room together yet.

Connor had a few milestones as well last week. During his 18mo Dr. apt, we disovered that his is already fulfiling his genetic destiny by ranking in the 25th percentile of weight for boys his age and the 80th percentile in height. He's destined to be a tall skinny string bean! Connor is at such a fun age right now. He's exploring language with increasing curiosity, and often combining it with his sign language. He seems to be adapting well to the new house, and has found a particular love of the window ledges which are perfect for driving toy cars or placing his favorite wheels.

Lauren continues to progress especially well on her growth. She doubled her birth weight last week, and she now weighs 4lbs 7oz, which is fabulous for a 33 week'er. She has grown over 3 inches since birth and she's really starting to look like a 'normal' newborn, which is very reassuring.

Grant's mom, Pat, has been such a godsend for us these past few weekends. This weekend she babysat Connor so Grant and I could enjoy a fun dinner out with friends. It was great to enjoy some adult company and conversation. Grant's birthday is coming up later this week, so we may actually get another night out for Grant's favorite: sushi!

Thursday, February 15th, 2007 10:00 a.m.

We have just a quick second to update the blog. Lauren is growing by leaps and bounds and is now 4 lbs, 2 oz. As you may know, they took her off the bubble Cpap machine a few days ago, but, unfortunately, she wasn't quite ready to be off the machine. So, she is back on it, and they will try again next week to ween her off of it.

Additionally, she was screened for ROP, which is an eye problem common in preemies, and her eyes seem to be developing normally. We are currently working on a potential hypothyroid issue, and should have more results next week. So, forward we go, as we brace for the next wave of issues, which we hope will be easily resolved.

We can't thank you enough for your continued well wishes.

Sunday, February 11th - Kaia's comments

Toasting another transition! A successful move to Stapleton.

Ride 'em cowboy. Connor loves to help vacuum.
Lauren off her CPAP! Almost 4lbs!

Precious time with mom
Sweet little girl breathing well on nasal canula!

Wow - what a weekend. In a frenzied pace, we packed up and moved house over the past 3 days. We're almost feeling settled, but vicious colds (Grant, Connor and I are all sick) are slowing our progress today. Neighbor/friend Diana watched Connor all day on Friday so Grant and I could direct Amazing Moves (4 very fit guys and 2 trucks - how did we accumulate so much stuff??!!) to move us. They were truly 'amazing', as they didn't leave a nick or a scratch on any walls, they disassembled and reassembled all of our beds, and they literally RAN from the truck to our house inbetween loads.

Lauren made significant progress of her own on Friday as she transitioned from her Bubble CPAP (oxygen and pressure into her nose) to nasal canula (oxygen with no pressure, requiring her lungs to do more work.) When I went in to visit her for our kangaroo session on Saturday morning, she was awake. "Quick, let's try to nurse while she's so alert!" said her nurse, Erin. Amazingly enough, she latched on right away and began nursing!!! Everyone was absolutely impressed. Even Connor didn't nurse on the first try, but this little 32 week'er figured it out right away. It was so much fun to hold her without all of the 'headgear' required for the CPAP. She really felt like a normal newborn, and at almost 4lbs, she's getting there! I just loved staring at her beautiful little face. She just seems so calm and content when I hold her....I didn't want to let her go.

On Saturday, the Ft. Collins Nesbitt crew kicked into high gear, helping us unpack boxes, arrange rooms, run for food, etc. Matt, Julie (with the next baby Nesbitt on board, due in August!), Walker, Laney May all helped us break in the new pad. Patty May even stayed up until 1am getting our whole kitchen organized! Thanks Nay Nay!!!

On Saturday morning, we received our weekly cell phone call from my parents, who are currently traveling in India. It was great to hear about their adventures, their intense discussions with the other travelers and the exotic foods they're enjoying. They'll spend 2 more weeks in India and then head to Africa for more excitement! Thanks to friends Gerry and Fran Johnson, they are able to check this blog on a daily basis, and thanks to a satellite cell phone, we're able to chat with them weekly.

Today, we celebrate Lauren's 1.5mo birthday. Our sweet little girl has been in the hospital for 6 long weeks now, but we are so thankful for her amazing care. Unfortunately, she did have one setback today. Although she did pretty well on the nasal canula, she has been desatting quite a bit (low oxygen levels) indicating that she's working pretty hard to breathe. Rather than pushing her and risking her health, the docs decided to put her back on CPAP for another week. We knew this might happen, so we're not too disappointed. We'd rather not chase her health, and we'd rather have her truly transition when she's ready.

PS: We still love reading your comments, so please keep them coming!!
Love,
Kaia, Grant, Connor, Lauren and Mugwa

Wednesday, February 7th - Kaia's comment

Lauren is 32 weeks (AGA) today! This milestone seems to be an important one, and this week the doctors and nurses have quite a few challenges planned for her. First, she will be weaned off of her CPAP. Both Grant and I are wary of this, as it seems like she still needs it. But we trust the medical professionals know best. If it's too much work for her to breathe with only a nasal canula (small tube of oxygen under her nose) then she may go back on the CPAP for awhile.

We will also begin nursing this week. At first, there really isn't much action, and the nurses call it 'nuzzling' rather than 'nursing', but we're working toward the goal of Lauren weaning off of her gavage feedings (tube down her throat.)

The images above were take yesterday as the nurses took her CPAP off for a few minutes. (again, no flash, so they're kind of fuzzy) I find that the opportunities I've had to be with Lauren without all of her 'headgear' are precious and few so far. When they occur, I watch every detail of her face intently, memorizing her eyes, her mouth movements, every precious detail of her face. I really look forward to the permanent removal of all of the medical stuff, although I am so thankful for the technology that has helped her live and thrive!

February 5th, 2007 9:10 a.m.

We apologize for the delay in posting. As you may know, we've been busy packing, moving and dealing with Connor's cold.

Fortunately, Lauren continues along her path of stability and growth. Last night she crossed the 1500 gram mark, which is roughly about 3 and half pounds! (Considering she was at 1.5 lbs at her lowest, we consider this a huge improvement.) The volume and frequency of her feedings keep increasing, as she continues to demonstrate that she can handle the additional breast milk. The additional weight is filling out her face, and she is starting to look more like a newborn.

Our next hurdle is getting her off the bubble Cpap machine, which has been somewhat of a challenge. Although she has been off of it for periods of time (1 hour while they clean the machine) she is not ready to make a clean break yet. But, they have reduced down to a level 4 pressure which she will stay at for another week or so, and then they will reduce it down to 3.

Kaia continues with her daily kangaroo sessions, which we think Lauren now looks forward to every morning. Apparently, she is really active right before Kaia shows up. Her eyes are open much more now, which is comforting to see.

We were delighted to see a 23-week old little boy finally go home from the NICU on Sunday after 120 days. He weighed less than a pound at birth, and was close to 7 pounds when he left. It was extremely encouraging to see them go home with a healthy little kid. The parents were beaming with excitement, and probably a lot of relief. We look forward to that day with much anticipation.

Thanks for all of your continued support.

Wednesday, January 31st

Lauren continues to enjoy her 'private bedroom' (see above.) You can barely see her in the isolette. The equipment to the left is her Bubble CPap, which is connected to the green squares on the wall (Oxygen source.) The blanket on top of the isolette is large, fuzzy and perfect for shading her tender eyes from the light. It was given to us by our dry cleaner!! Thank you!

Wednesday, January 31st - Kaia's comments

Break out the champagne and celebrate a few mini-milestones! Today Lauren is 31 weeks (adjusted gestational age) and she is over 3lbs!!! In her short life she has already increased her weight by 150%!

This week we are beginning to see Lauren learn some new tricks. First of all, she can suck on a pacifier (yes, very impressive.) In the next week or two, she will begin mastering the art of nursing. For Connor, this was a challenging skill to learn, and since Lauren is so small, it will probably be challenging for her as well. Over the next few weeks, Lauren will also begin weaning off of her Bubble CPap and just using oxygen from a nasal canula. It will be great to get all of the head gear off of her and enjoy just gazing at her darling face. (Sorry for the fuzzy photo, but we try to shield her eyes and limit any flashes because they startle her. As you can see, the bubble CPAP really obscures her face.)

Another skill that we both began learning today was baby massage. Lauren's nervous system is developing well, and the occupational therapists now encourage parental touch as a positive counter to the 'negative' touch she's used to receiving (heel sticks, blood draws, diaper changes, ventilator changes, xrays.....few of which are welcome or enjoyable.) During our Kangaroo session today, an OT helped teach me how to gently touch her back, arms and legs. Although eventually this may be a very soothing experience, it was quite stimulating to her today. But she tolerated the massage quite well and we'll continue this pattern as a part of our daily Kangaroo'ing.

Lauren continues to be quite the enthusiastic eater. She's up to 24 cc's of breastmilk every 3 hours, which is considered a 'full feed' for her weight. This is almost double the amount of breastmilk she was getting just a week ago! She no longer has any IV's, and the only additional nutrition she's receiving is an iron supplement and a little caffeine (her morning Starbuck's.)

January 29th, 2007 11:15 a.m.

There is lots of good news to share with all of you. First, Lauren turned 1 month old on Sunday, which is a huge milestone in any preemies' life, as the first month is always the hardest. Second, and more importantly, she was upgraded from "critical condition" to a "feeder- grower" - NICU speak for all she needs to do...Feeder' and she will grow, I guess... (At least that is what we are doing with her big brother, so it must work...) We are elated with her progress. She is up to 1286 grams, but her weight fluctuates by 40-60 grams a day. Some days she gains, and others she loses. So, we are trying not to focus on the day to day changes, but more week to week. They are fortifying the breast milk with iron and extra calories.

The only speed bump in the road has come from the medical team's efforts to ween her from her bubble Cpap breathing machine, which is taking longer than expected. This really is not a problem, but something they are trying to accomplish soon. She remains on about 30-40% oxygen (room air is about 21% oxygen here in Colorado.) So, ideally they want to get her down to about that room air level before she goes home. (But, if she doesn't want to cooperate then she will be on oxygen at home, which used to scare us, but not really any more, as it seems par for the course with most preemies.)

I was able to hold her for the first time on Saturday, which was very exciting but also stressful because of her extreme fragility. I think the blankets they used to cover her weighed more than she does, as I could not distinguish between the two. Needless to say, it was about time... Connor still isn't all that impressed with his baby sister, but really likes the monitors and machines which surround her. For now, the 'zamboni' that cleans the hall floors of the hospital is by far more exciting than Lauren, but we are sure that will change in time.

We continue to appreciate your well wishes.

Grant and Kaia

Saturday, January 27th

Gram by gram, ounce by ounce, our little Lauren is growing bigger every day! Each day that we visit her in the NICU, it looks like she has a little more baby fat on her body. It's been amazing to see how quickly she has ramped up on her feedings, and it's been very satisfying to watch her quickly wean off of her IV fluids. She's now up to 19cc breastmilk every 3 h0urs and continuing to increase. She gained another ounce yesterday - just packin' on the weight!

We're still probably 2 months away from taking Lauren home, but she's making great progress toward the three criteria required for her to be dicharged from the NICU: 1) She must be able to maintain her own body temp, 2) She must be able to breathe on her own and go at least 5 days without any apnea or bradies, (although it's almost guaranteed that she will be on oxygen for a few weeks at home), and 3) She must be able to eat well and regularly on her own. Apparently the complex skill of sucking, swallowing and breathing is something babies can't do until they're at least 34 weeks old.

We continue our daily kangaroo sessions, and it feels like Lauren is beginning to expect them and enjoy them, as am I! She sleeps well and her stats remain very stable when I hold her, and even after I put her back in her isolette, she continues to sleep comfortably for many hours afterward.

We're beginning to establish a daily routine of hospital time, Connor time and work toward moving (we close on our new house next week!) But just as we get comfortable with that routine, it will soon change again. Grant is already back to work full time (gotta get that real estate biz going again for 2007!) I will be going back to work 1/2 time from mid-Feb until Lauren comes home, at which time I will hopefully have the opportunity to take a few months off again to be home with her for a proper maternity leave. Of course I'm a little nervous about how we will care for her properly without the help of our fabulous team of NICU nurses and monitors, but we will learn!

January 25th, 2007 10:45 am

"Steady as she goes," says Lauren's doctors. And steady she is... Lauren continues on this remarkably stable path, and is growing by leaps and bounds, so to speak...
She is now up to 17 ccs of breast milk every 3 hours, which is providing the vast majority of her nutrition and fluids - like a full term baby. (Yeah, it feels good to say that...) She is now pooping and peeing regularly, indicating that her digestive system is fully up and running.

The only hiccup has been a blood clot that developed in her central IV line yesterday afternoon. Rather than flushing the line and depositing the blood clot back into her body where it could potentially cause a blockage, they removed the entire line. So, she only has a small Piv line in her ankle. Because she is getting most of her feedings by mouth now (through the G-tube), the central line wasn't really necessary.

We are starting to see some big changes in her, as most of the support is being scaled back for now. As Kaia says, "our little girl is growing up." The kangaroo sessions are incredibly important to both Kaia and Lauren, and seem to be going well... We are told by the doctors that these sessions of skin to skin contact become expected by the baby. So, Kaia has made an effort to at the same time each day to hold Lauren. We continue to hope and pray that she continues to grow and thrive, and that we will be able to bring her home this spring...

Thanks for all of your support,

Grant and Kaia

January 24th, 2007 10:30 am

Today, Lauren is 30 weeks gestation, which is another big milestone for her. It feels nice to be done with the '20s'. We are happy to report that Lauren continues to improve, and that we have found some much needed rest.

Her doctors have rapidly increased her feedings, and she is now up to 13ccs every two hours. They are still 'pushing' her feeds, meaning that they trickle them into her stomach via a feeding tube. It seems to be doing the job, as she gained a whopping 74 grams today, which is about 2.5 ounces. Her digestive system seems to be working just fine. They will continue on this path of increasing her feedings as long as she can handle it until she is up to full feedings. Once she can handle full feedings, they will pull out her last remaining IV, and she will be one step closer to a full term baby.

It sounds a bit funny, but I don't have any 'bad' news to report. She is doing very well (knock on wood), and the nurses even dressed her up for her 30 week birthday today.

January 22nd, 2007 7:45 p.m.

With most of the serious complications of last week behind her, Lauren continues to progress slowly, but much faster than anyone anticipated, including her doctors. Freed of the infection, she can now dedicate most of our energy into increasing her feedings so that she start growing. The early feedings were successful in starting up her digestive system, which apparently is very slow to crank back up. She has been remarkably stable over the last four or five days, which has allowed our medical staff to rapidly increase her feedings, and she is now up to 9 ccs every 2 hours. (Just a few days ago she was at 2 ccs every 4 hours. So, she has come along way.) She put on 20 grams yesterday, and now weighs in at 1178 grams, which is about 2.4 lbs. (We keep thinking she is closer to 3 lbs - maybe it is wishful thinking...) Her heart rate and vitals remain "rock solid" as one of her nurses likes to say. She is slowly coming off the bubble cpap, but that will take several weeks if not months to complete. We are confident that she is now on a good path that will ultimately lead to a happy homecoming sometime in mid March or early April. Many thanks for your continued thoughts and prayers (and food).

Grant and Kaia

January 21st, 2007 10:45 a.m.

Happy 3-week birthday, Lauren!

We finally feel like we can just relax and enjoy each other this weekend. On the doctors' rounds this morning, the neonatologist declared that Lauren was doing 'beautifully!" She has been unbelievably stable over the last few days - her heart rate, blood pressure, blood gas levels, and feedings are all in a normal range with very few aberrations. She's now getting about 1/2 her nutrition from her IV fluids, and 1/2 from breast milk, which is great progress! She's been gaining 1/2 oz per day over the past few days and on her way to being a 'big' 3-pounder. (yes, it's all relative!)

Grant's mom (Pat Carney) has been spending the weekend with us, which makes life so much easier. We've enjoyed many delicious dinners brought over by friends, Kaia has had a chance to 'kangaroo' with Lauren for 2-3 hours every morning, and Connor has been showered with love and kisses by us all. This morning Grant and Connor rough-housed and played so hard that Connor literally asked for a nap by grabbing his pacifier, blankey and pointing to his crib. The only hitch we've experienced this weekend was YET ANOTHER SNOW STORM! Can you believe it? What a winter! Pat is stuck with us for another night, so we ordered pizza and we're all just about to watch a little football together.

January 20th, - Kaia's Comment

That Lauren had better increase her appetite soon or we'll have to purchase a second freezer!!! I've been pumping every 3 hours, but she's still only eating a small amount. Come on, girl! Work with me!

Connor continues to be a high energy little boy. This morning he emptied his whole bookcase in search of his favorite book "Wheels on the Bus." Of course, "A-Wuh" (as he calls it) is also his favorite song. When he hears the song on a CD or on his "Things that Go" Baby Einstein DVD, he starts bouncing up and down with a huge grin on his face. Toddlers are crazy!

January 19th - Kaia's comment

Our sweetest little Lauren is on a great track this week. She is healing from her infection (docs think she had pneumonia and they seem to have nipped it in the bud!) and she's getting back to the all-important work of growing and developing!

She and I had a great morning together. Now that she's off her ventilator, has all but one of her IV's out, and has very stable stats, we restarted our morning 'Kangaroo' ritual. It felt great to hold my little daughter again, as she snuggled up on my chest and quickly fell asleep. It's amazing how such normal baby sounds, like her sneezes and cries can sound like music to my heart! As we snuggled together on a reclining chair, I told her all about the new house our family is moving into next month and all of the little girls her age who will be living on our street. I also told her about her amazing Dad and her crazy little brother, both of whom just love her with all their hearts. It will be so great to have our whole family under one roof. I just can't wait! I also told her about how many friends she already has - this blog seems to have stimulated quite a Lauren Fan Club!

Because we started this blog after Lauren was born, some of you may have some questions as to why this all happened so early. Honestly, most of our questions remain unanswered, and may always remain unanswered. First, why did I go into labor so early? No one knows. On the night of December 26th, I began feeling contractions. They subsided and I slept well that night. But when I went into my doctor's office to be checked on the 27th, I found out that my cervix was beginning to dilate and efface - I was going into labor!!! I was immediately checked into the hospital and put on a series of strong anti-contraction drugs. I was also given a series of steroids to help Lauren's lungs develop in case she was delivered. For the next 4 days, I was on strict bed rest in the hospital and monitored rigorously. We all hoped that the contractions were gone and I might still carry Lauren to term. Unfortunately, on Sunday the 31st at 4am, my contractions began again. The docs tried but were unable to stop the inevitable. Lauren was ready to greet the world, whether the world was ready for her or not!! Sometimes premature births happen because there is an infection somewhere or a tear that leaks amniotic fluid. I went through multiple tests looking for a reason that my contractions came so early and everything came back negative! We must accept that we may never know the reason this all happened.

Why did I have an emergency C-section? When the docs did an ultrasound right before Lauren was born, the images showed that she was in a breech position (her head was not down.) Also, her umbilical cord was gathered near the cervix....all things that made a normal birth dangerous. C-section was the only safe option. My contractions were coming rapidly and I was 100% effaced and 8cm dilated. Lauren was on her way out and the c-section was the best option to minimize her trauma.

So, we may never know why my body was ready to give birth so soon. One friend has told us that perhaps Lauren has some amazing things to do in her life and she just couldn't wait to get started! No matter what, she has already taught us many lessons about love, patience, celebrating the littlest victories, and being comfortable with the unknown and the uncontrollable. She sure is a special little girl and we are so thankful for all that she is and all that she will be.

January 19th, 2007 9:11 a.m.

We are headed to the hospital now to see Lauren, but wanted to drop a quick note to let you know the latest news.

She continues to breathe on her own with the aid of the bubble Cpap machine, and the amount of oxygen she is breathing is slowly decreasing, proving her lungs are strong enough to oxygenate her blood - all good news. We understand that all of her vitals remain good.

The one bump in the road is that she is not digesting her milk. She has a feeding tube (G-Tube) that delivers the breast milk directly to her stomach. Typically the medical team checks the contents of her stomach before next feeding, and they have discovered that the milk is not making its way down in the intestines. There are many potential reasons for this, and we hope to find a solution to it today. Meanwhile, all of her nutrition is supplied through her IVs, so don't worry - she won't starve.

We will keep you posted...

Grant and Kaia

January 18th, 2007 11:02 a.m.

We were pleasantly surprised this morning when we walked into Lauren's room to find that she was no longer on the ventilator!! So, she is now breathing on her own, with only minimal support from the bubble Cpap machine. (In the NICU world, this is a huge step because it means that she is strong and mentally coordinated enough to handle the big job of breathing.) We do, however, realize that she may have to go back on the 'vent' if she isn't fully capable of keeping her lungs completely inflated. (It is normal for preemies to bounce between the two machines at first.) We will know more this afternoon about how she is processing the oxygen she is breathing on her own when we get the results of the latest blood gas test. For now anyway, it is a welcomed return to some sense of "normalcy" if such a state exists at this time.

They have increased the volume and frequency of the feedings as well. And, we did receive the results of the latest brain scan, which was clear of any bleeds. (Ventilators tend to elevate a preemies' blood pressure, which can burst the tiny blood vessels in the brain causing damage.)
So, needless to say it is a good day.

We are not out of the woods by any stretch, but we remain confident that this episode is behind us. I was able to touch her hand this morning for the first time (partly because I have been a bit scared of all the wires and IVs). She wrapped her small fingers about half way around my index finger and shook it a little bit, sort of like a hand shake. So, we've now been formally introduced. We hope she is stable enough on the Cpap for Kaia to hold her today...

Thanks for hanging with us through all of this...

Grant and Kaia

January 17th, 2007 11:25 a.m.

We just returned from our morning visit with Lauren, and I am happy to report her condition is stable and improving. We are truly blessed to have her doing so well, as we are only beginning to realize from the docs how close to the edge she really was...

She has improved enough that they will most likely switch her to a conventional ventilator this afternoon. (This is a big step towards breathing on her own.) She is currently breathing "over" the ventilator now, which shows that she wants to breathe on her own. She has handled the draw down on the meds and pain killers, which gives our medical team confidence that she is ready for the next step. Her vitals have remained consistent, with much lower heart rates and perfect blood pressure and gases. They even started feeding her again yesterday. Her last chest x-ray showed some improvement in the lung congestion, but this mysterious infection is still with her. She will remain on the antibiotics (which apparently can "peel paint off the wall," as our doctor says) until we are completely sure that she has in fact conquered the infection.

So, we continue to rejoice in her miraculous recovery, and try not to worry about another trip down this terrifying path. Although we are back to square-one, we now know she is tough and battle tested. Our hope is that she can start breathing on her own and regularly feeding soon. We are both worn out emotionally, but your thoughts and prayers for our family keep us going. We appreciate all of your support.

We will try to update the blog this afternoon after the switch to the new ventilator...

Keep the faith,

Grant and Kaia

January 16th, 2007 9:50 a.m. - She's a fighter

I just wanted to let all of you know that Lauren's condition continues to improve. In fact, she is recovering quite well. We can't thank all of you enough for your heartfelt concern, prayers and thoughts. Clearly, Lauren could feel all the love.

Her heart rate this morning was in the 130's, lower than it has been since she was born. (Compared to 230's bpm a day or so ago.) This is a great sign of her overall health, as preemies exhibit signs of stress, infection, etc...through their heart rates. Her vitals remain strong, and she is receiving much less support than she was even 24 hours ago. So, we believe that she has the infection on the run. (Our medical team believes the infection was probably pneumonia, due to her cloudy lungs, but we don't have any positive test results to confirm that.) They continue to ween her off the vent, and hope to put her back on bubble Cpap breathing soon (which means she will be breathing on her own, essentially). Kaia says she looks comfortable, despite her bruised and swollen arms and legs from all of the IVs and her scars from her multiple procedures, spinal taps, and surgery.

We still don't know the cause of her serious deterioration, and the docs are still searching for it. We hope and pray it won't return. I suppose this is part of the NICU roller coaster that we have heard so much about. We still have many many hurdles to overcome, but things are moving in the right direction. We certainly believe that all of your positive energy, prayers, and concern gave her the strength to push on...She is a seriously tough little girl.

Keep the faith, and much love to you all....

Grant and Kaia

January 15th, 2007 - 9:51 a.m

After much worry and tears yesterday, the medical team did get Lauren stabilized yesterday afternoon, and she had a calm night. They are concerned that some sort of infection has taken hold, but finding it remains a big mystery. So, the search continues, which most likely will include a spinal tap today, unfortunately. Meanwhile she remains on a long list of drugs and antibiotics. Your thoughts and prayers mean everything to us right now.

Keep the faith,

Grant

January 14th, 2007 - Kaia's comment

We received our first middle-of-the-night phone call from the NICU last night. When I heard the phone ring at 3am, I knew who it was and I knew it wasn't good. Through my groggy sleepy haze, I listened to the doctor tell me that he was concerned about Lauren. She had been rather unstable over the last few hours and he was concerned that she may have an infection. She was retaining fluids, her blood gases weren't good and her heart rate was very high (over 200bpm, although she had been in the safer 170-180bpm range right after the surgery.) Her blood pressure was low and CO2 was high. Basically, her heart was working hard and it seemed like she wasn't getting enough oxygen throughout her body or ridding herself of the waste gas CO2. The doctors planned to switch her to a different type of ventilator (high frequency oscillating ventilator), put her on a high powered antibiotic and begin to diagnose the problem. We knew that the PDA surgery recovery would likely be rocky and sure enough it has been.

Grant and I headed into the hospital this morning knowing that Lauren was fighting a good fight. We have tried to keep a strong and positive outlook, but there have been a lot of tears today. We have been told that she may not make it through this infection, which is impossible for us to swallow. We have been by her side constantly and hoping for the best. The team of respiratory experts, NICU doctors and nurses were very focused on Lauren all morning. So far, test results have not shown a specific infection, but they think she is shunting some blood through another duct near her heart and she may have a sepsis (infection in her blood.)

Grant's brother Matt braved the snow (yes, we had MORE snow last night!) and has been by our side in the hospital today, providing positive encouragement. Fortunately, Connor seems to have recovered today, and we think his 'illness' last night was due to more molars coming in. Poor little guy!! Early this morning, it seemed like our whole family was falling apart. The cat was the only one who didn't seem out of sorts. This afternoon Connor's energy and spark have returned, and he's been playing with his GranD (my mom) who is here to care for us all and help us get through the weekend. With his giggles and smiles, once again our son is the embodiment of hope that we need in such a difficult time.

January 13th, 5:52 p.m.

Happy Birthday to Kaia and my Brother Matt!!!

We visited Lauren this morning, and her condition continues to be stable. They are slowly reducing the pain meds, and she seems to be tolerating it. She remains on the vent until her blood gases improve, however. All other vitals are stable and good...So, no real news. She is doing what she should be doing, which is sleeping and healing.

Unfortunately, Connor seems to have come down with the flu and Kaia pulled a stitch and has been layed up all day. Fortunately, Kaia's mom is here today to help take the pressure off of me.

Grant

January 12th, 2007 - 6:35 p.m.

Hello family and friends - We both want to express to all of you our sincerest appreciation for your loving support, thoughts and prayers. We feel like your positive thoughts and energy helped Lauren turn the corner. How could she not feel the love? Today was a good day.

Lauren remains somewhat sedated, and she has been slowly waking up today. Because of the narcotics used to control her pain, Lauren still needs the help of a ventilator. (The drugs relax so many functions including her ability to breathe.) We hope to have her back on regular oxygen soon. Her blood pressure is amazingly stable, which is a marked changed prior to the PDA ligation. She is producing lots of urine, which indicates that her kidneys are working fine and she is flushing her body of the drugs. Her color is good, and she is comfortably stable. They moved her out of the super station neonatal ICU post-op room and back to her isolette, where they can better control the humidity necessary to keep her skin from drying out. (Her skin was becoming fairly chapped, and flaky due to the dry heat lamps she was under in post-op.)

As with any surgery, there have been some recovery challenges. Her body is retaining some fluid, which she is starting to flush out with the help of a diuretic. However, that process takes a few days. So, some of that fluid remains in her lungs. When they moved her this afternoon, they completed a chest x-ray that revealed some congestion in her lungs. So, they will continue to monitor that to ensure it clears up over the next few days. There is also a continued murmur in her heart, but our medical team doesn't seem too concerned about it. However, they did indicate that it could be a sign that maybe the clip isn't holding. It's too early to tell, but something they will also continue to monitor. Tomorrow, they hope to start some small feedings to get her digestive track back up and running. (Kaia has completely filled our freezer with milk for what we hope will be a very hungry little girl!)

We're not out of the woods yet, but feel confident Lauren now has a chance to start thriving, and putting on the necessary weight. We slept great last night, and woke up this morning with a renewed sense of optimism and hope. We haven't cried today, so that is also a nice change.

Your thoughts and comments have made all the difference in the world, and we are glad to share her journey with all you despite how difficult it is to write these blogs some days. We must admit that sharing her life with you is incredibly cathartic, and in some way brings us closer to Lauren, as we can't really touch or feel her, and sometimes can't see her face. Anything to feel close to her.

Much love,

Grant and Kaia

January 11th, 2007 - kaia's comment

Perhaps my birthday wish has been answered early! Lauren's surgery this morning was quick and successful. We have just returned from the hospital and we're so excited to share the good news.

We received a call at 10 am saying that surgery would begin within the next 2 hours, so of course Grant, Pat and I packed up and rushed over to the hospital. Connor was left in good hands with his nanny Katie. We left him happy as a clam, riding around our basement in his brand new wagon - I think he would sleep in it if we let him.

At the hospital we were greeted by Bobbi, the NNP who has primary care of Lauren. (an NNP is a neonatal nurse practitioner who has advanced training in newborn special care) Lauren had been moved to a more private room within the NICU and in the process of surgery preparation. "She's been feisty all morning, " Bobbi told us, "I think she feels gypped because we wouldn't let her have her breastmilk this morning. We need to keep her tummy empty in preparation for her surgery" When we arrived, Lauren had already been intubated and sedated (general anesthesia.) It was heart wrenching to see our little daughter splayed out and prepared for surgery. No one should have to endure this, especially one so little. But doctors have assured us that this surgery is routine and although it will take her awhile to recover, her pain will be managed and she won't remember a thing.

After the surgeon and anesthesiologist thoroughly scared us with all of the consent forms and descriptions of all potential risks, we went to the family waiting room and tried to keep the most positive of thoughts in our minds. About 45 minutes later, Dr. Max Mitchell (cardiac surgeon from Children's Hospital) walked in with a smile - the ligation was a success! He sealed the ductus with a very small titanium clip and she was already showing signs of improved stability. "The ductus was very large," he told us. "Her heart may have been working 2-5 times harder than necessary due to this PDA. I can tell that her lungs are already beginning to clear and she is very stable. She hardly lost any blood in the process and everything went smoothly." We were elated with the positive news.

Of course once the surgeon left, we all broke down with tears of joy and relief. We went in to see her and she looked great. She really looked no different than when we had left her an hour earlier, other than a new small bandage under her arm. But eventually the only sign left of this surgery will be a small fine line on her skin. Plus, she now has her first permanent piece of jewelry - a titanium clip near her heart. We are so hopeful that her recovery will be smooth and she is now set to really start growing and THRIVING!!!! Great job, girlfriend! We are SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!